A sucker born (OR CONCEIVED) EVERY minute

some of you might know that I’m a bit infertile. So yes, I have a biological child and currently a beautiful pregnant belly, and yes, it took some prescription drugs and lots and lots and lots of sex and maybe even some other stuff that’s none of your company to arrive at this point of motherhood. My point is that I know what I’m talking about when it concerns conception.

One of the first things you’ll read if you are searching for suggestions and tricks to get pregnant is that you ought to stay in the horizontal position, with your hips lifted, for some number of minutes after intercourse. I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but an upward-tiled pelvis is not the essential to getting pregnant (or not getting pregnant.) There are hormones and fallopian tubes and other complicated things at play.

(Perhaps putting on a one-piece black unitard after sex will help you conceive?)
Let’s just consider how numerous people throughout history have successfully achieved pregnancy without sliding a couple of pillows under their butts. some of you probably got pregnant in an entirely vertical position. At least one of you did jumping jacks after you had sex, specifically hoping not to get pregnant. and some of us will have our hips raised as high as our hopes for twenty-five consecutive cycles and not get pregnant at all. and this is why I find this product hilarious:

Conception Curve, the positioning Pillow

From the Conception curve web site:

The Conception CurveTM positioning pillow is a contoured pillow cut to fit the shape of a woman’s body. It is made of durable polyurethane foam and can easily support women of all shapes and sizes.

The satin soft cover is hypoallergenic and easy to keep clean. There are convenient side handles that make it easy to pull the pillow under your buttocks.

My favorite part is this outstanding benefit-oriented copy:

NO much more MESS

Why soil your good linens every other day? pillows are implied to support your head, not the other end! Conception CurveTM positioning pillow is lined in a water resistant material so you can wipe stains away without worrying about getting the foam portion wet.

So purchase yours for just $85.00 at ConceptionCurve.com.
OBVIOUSLY this is not a paid product review.

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